The Ultimate Gift

“The Ultimate Gift”
Written by Frederick Passmore
Copyright 2015 Sheep Laughs Records

Synopsis: At a meeting of a technology company days before Christmas, three inventors present their inventions for the next year’s “Ultimate Gift.” In each of the three five-to-six-minute skit sequences, a way-out device is demonstrated that causes havoc on the group, with truly hysterical results! A cleaning lady that is present as a witness shares with them what the ultimate gift really is, and how to receive it. Full of humor, funny action and deep meaning, but with no lines to learn, these short series of skits will excite your actors and tickle the viewers.

(Soundtrack key: NO LINES TO LEARN, the Skit Trax supply the narration, background music and sound effects.)

Length of play: 20 minutes. (three segments of 6-7 minutes each)
Number of cast: 12 (Consisting of seven main parts and five minor parts, and any extras you may wish to add.)
Category: Christmas, comedic, Medium-Length Skit, No Lines To Learn,
Price of script PDF & MP3 Skit Trax: Instant download:  $14.99 – Add To Cart
Price of script PDF and Physical CD: $19.99 plus shipping Add to Cart

In its script form, this is a play with no lines to memorize! One that all ages can be a part of: children, teens, adults and even seniors. You’ll have an easier time recruiting cast members when they hear there are no lines to learn. All of the narration, music and sound effects come on a CD, ready to play! YOU MAY ORDER THE SCRIPT AND SOUNDTRACK AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE.

(Note: this particular soundtrack also comes with the background music and effects tracks so that you can do your own narration over them, if you wish.)

Note: It is important that if you do these scripts, that you have something to separate the skit scenes; having someone sing a Christmas song in between them is the best option. This gives your cast time to recover and prepare for the next scene.

This script is done in three parts. The scenes are about 6-7 minutes each, and total about 20 minutes (but your program will be longer if you separate the skits with songs as is recommended).

Cast: The CEO Alan McIntyre, and his assistant (male), department head Helen Sawyer, the inventor of the Personal Atmosphere Generator (male), the inventor of the Emote-Control (female), the inventor of The Muscle Remotivator (male), and the Christian Cleaning Lady, Jane. Smaller parts: two male security guards and several other employees at the meeting. Helen’s husband and two children (which should be a girl and boy, but it is not specified in the script, so it could be two of either).

Props: Upright vacuum cleaner. Walkman headphones. One rolling media cart that can be used for the three different inventions. A laptop PC or something similar for the Personal Weather Controller. A boombox to stand in for the Emote Control. An electronic game console and joystick for the Muscle Remotivator. Pocket New Testament.

“The Ultimate Gift” Story Outline

(A general description of the script; not all details or scenes are here, but it gives you an overall picture of what it is like.)

Here is the story outline for “The Ultimate Gift,” which is told and acted out in three parts , separated by songs or anything else you wish to do.

Scene one: A group of people come into the room and take seats around a table. Several of them carry briefcases. They talk amongst themselves as the narration tells where they are, who they are, and why they are there. The business is an electronics entertainment company. The CEO opens the meeting, telling about the lower-than-expected sales for this December, and that they have to hurry to have some newer, more appealing products in time for the next year’s holiday shopping season. They do not have much time, as it is already the 22nd of December, and it will take working around the clock to have it ready by the next fall. The company slogan is “Empowering You To Change Your World” and each invention is intended to give one control over some aspect of life. This is seen as a way to tap into the need to have some control, as the world seems to be spiraling out of control and people are afraid. The president introduces the head of the R&D department, a female executive, who has commissioned some inventors to build prototypes of their inventions. They are here to demonstrate the results of the money that the company has invested in their inventions.

Preview a PDF page of the script that contains the scene above by clicking here:the_ultimate_gift_sample_01

Preview the section of the soundtrack that is heard during the scene above by clicking on the player below.

The first one is called into the room, and brings in a device and puts it on the table. Someone is needed to demonstrate it on, and the CEO appoints one of his lackey officers, who is only too happy to help. As the inventor is explaining the device, and why it is needed by the consumers, a cleaning lady, wearing headphones and a player, bebops into the room and begins cleaning, not noticing the people seated at the table. She is singing a Christmas song to herself. The people all stare at her, and finally the inventor goes over and gets her attention, which scares her into using judo on them! She is a spry old granny. One of the lackeys thinks she might be an industrial spy in disguise, and when he tries to take away her camera phone, she chops him also. Security is called, and she prepares for a battle with them, motioning with her hand for them to “come on.” The woman executive, recognizing her as an employee, calls them off, and apologizes for the scene. The inventor demands that she be taken out of the room, but the CEO asks her to stay and observe, they would like her unbiased opinion as a consumer. She agrees, and takes a seat.

The inventor begins again, and activates the Personal Atmospheric Controller, which allows the holder to decide the weather conditions in their immediate area. It is needed, as the company slogan says, for “Empowering You To Change Your World,” and this is the first time that technology will give one the ability to change the weather, but on very small scale. For those that have the need for control in their lives, this device will give them that power. The execs are impressed, and the demonstration begins. The first setting is for nice weather… but there seems to be no effect. That, he explains, is because they already are in a comfort zone and there is nothing to change for the better. He changes the setting to cooler weather, and everyone gets cold. He makes it hotter, then controls the humidity, and makes it thunder, and then brings on a wind. But suddenly the controls short out, and the weather gets severe.

Preview a PDF page of the script that contains the scene above by clicking here:the_ultimate_gift_sample_02

Preview the section of the soundtrack that is heard during the scene above by clicking on the player below.

There is tornado-force wind, freezing temperatures, rain, a thunderstorm, lightning, etc, and people are being blown all around, trying to cover their heads, etc.  Finally the cleaning lady unplugs the machine, stopping the chaos. Everyone is soaked and cold, and before adjourning to get dried off, they ask the cleaning lady for her immediate impression. She says that we can’t control everything in our life, and that God is in control. She tells the story of the storm on the lake and how the Lord calmed it with a word. If we want peace, we have to know and trust the Peace-Speaker. Otherwise we will be buffeted by the storms of life, and our efforts to control things outside our control will only show how helpless and clueless we are. She says that this product would wreak havoc wherever it was used. The CEO agrees with the verdict, if not the philosophy, and sends away the inventor. They will meet again a little later after taking a break.
End of first section.

Start of the second sequence.

The group of people come back into the room for the second meeting. The head of R&D introduces the next inventor, and they call him in. He pitches the product prototype, which is a device he calls the Emote Control. The machine is for controlling emotions, either of yourself or those around you, through the use of ultra-low audio frequencies that can affect emotions. By varying the frequencies, he can induce and manipulate different emotions in the target. It is demonstrated, but the Emote-Control gets out of control, putting the room through an emotional meltdown. The first setting is for “joy”… and everyone feels happy. A sense of goodwill and well-being goes around the table, and people are smiling, joking, and then high-fiving. They think it’s wonderful. Then he dials it to a higher intensity, “hilarity” and they begin laughing and can’t stop. They beg him to stop, because it’s like laughing gas. He demonstrates the “sadness” setting and they all look depressed, and begin crying. He changes it to “fear” and they are all afraid of each other, and run around hiding. Lastly he puts it on “Anger” and they all start getting angry, and fighting each other.

Preview a PDF page of the script that contains the scene above by clicking here: the_ultimate_gift_sample_03

The cleaning lady shuts off the machine before they kill each other. They all take their seats, and they reject the invention on the grounds that it could be both addictive to one’s self and dangerous if used to manipulate others. The cleaning lady talks about the secret to controlling emotions, which is living by faith and letting go of guilt and shame. Knowing that you can trust the Lord takes away fear and doubt… lasting joy comes from knowing the source of joy, which is Jesus… God is love, and he helps us to love others in a real way, and not just based on feelings, which can be deceptive. Sadness is defeated, anger soothed, all the negative emotions brought under control by having God’s word in your life. The meeting is adjourned while the participants settle down and get their feelings under control.

Preview the section of the soundtrack that is heard during the scene above by clicking on the player below.

Start of the third and final skit part.

The meeting opens with the last inventor, who explains that his invention will revolutionize the world. It takes the video game concept of movement recognition a step further. This machine, instead of being controlled by the movement of the person, actually controls the movement of the person! It is the reverse application of the motion-controlled video game… here, the game controls your motions. It allows the user to control the movements of another person, or a user to live out the actions seen onscreen in a video game.  He demonstrates on an employee, whom he makes spin around like a ballerina. Then he starts the first game and we see the person start to dance like John Travolta and mimics their moves, to hilarious effect. That is a good application and wins approval around the table. Next it is loaded with a Bruce Lee game and he becomes a martial arts expert, and defeats several imaginary attackers. He loads a Frankenstein game and he stalks around like the monster. Amusing at first, the “monster” then turns on the CEO, under the control of the inventor. He is angry at the boss because he wasn’t hired full-time in the past. The cleaning lady grabs the joystick and turns the monster on the inventor, who switches off the machine. Security is called and he is taken away. The cleaning lady tells them to look to the Bible for the ultimate solution to life’s troubles, not gadgets or philosophies. Control in this life is an illusion, and none of us is wise enough to be in control, only the Lord.

Everything the company markets concerns controlling or influencing conditions or others. But the best way to influence others is by personal character and helping. Change yourself, not the world around you… then the world around you will see the change and want it for themselves. Let God control your life… accept his gift and his Kingship. Then, share it with your loved ones; being the best gift they could have. Then you will truly be empowered to change your world.

She talks about the Christmas story, but they think they know it, and each person around the table volunteers what they think it is; Ralphie gets a BB gun; Scrooge gets happy; Rudolph leads Santa’s team, etc; but they’ve never actually listened to the real one. She reads a portion of it once it becomes obvious that no-one there really knows much about it, and explains it some. The CEO thinks it’s all well and good, but does nothing to sell product, which is why they are there. The woman in charge of R&D sees her family at the door, waiting for her to come with them to go home for the holidays. The CEO demands that she stay to come up with some plan or product, but she leaves anyway, with the cleaning lady. She invites her to come with them and spend Christmas in their home, and share the things she knows about the meaning of it all. She accepts, and they leave together. After reluctantly dismissing the others, the CEO, left alone, considers what he has heard. He decides to promote the cleaning lady to head of the janitorial department, and after the holidays, invite her back to speak some more of this Jesus she seems to know so well.

Get the script PDF (to print out) and audio tracks (to burn to your own CD) here.
Price of script PDF & MP3 Skit Trax: Instant download:  $14.99 – Add To Cart

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