“How To Be Spiritually Fit”
Written by Frederick Passmore
Copyright 2000 by Sheep Laughs Publications
Note: This is the original version of the script that was adapted for “Mama Knows Best,” which changes the characters and situation to apply to Mother’s Day. This version has two men that are friends as the characters. The Soundtrack is the same and used for both.
Soundtrack key: This is the type of script where your actors deliver their lines and the soundtrack supplies the background music and sound effects as the script calls for them.
Number of cast: 2
Length of play: 18-20 minutes.
Category: Comedic, Medium-length skit
Price of script PDF & MP3 Skit Trax: Instant download ONLY: $14.99 Add to Cart
Price of Script PDF and Physical CD: $19.99 plus shipping Add To Cart
YOU MAY ALSO ORDER THE SCRIPT AND SOUNDTRACK AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE.
Synopsis: Wishing to be stronger in his Christian walk, but not willing to do what is necessary, a gullible fellow orders an advertised “Spiritually Fit Kit” from a TV infomercial. When it arrives, he heads over to a friend’s house him to invite him to join in the program. Recognizing the futility of trying to take a shortcut to spiritual health, the more mature friend advises against it, but stays to witness the predictably painful (and hilarious) results! Picking up the pieces when it’s all over, he helps him to see the true path to spiritual growth and health.
Characters: Bill, the one ordering the kit. Leonard, the friend who warns him and then helps him. (Please note: the gender of both or either of the characters may be changed according to your cast or desires. The soundtrack CD also works for either.) NOTE: Change the script slightly to make Leonard be Bill’s father to make it fantastic for Father’s Day!
Costumes: Casual clothes, with the exception of a pair of large, colorful, fuzzy animal-shaped bedroom slippers for Bill. The more ridiculous looking, the better!
Props: Box with the letters “Spiritually Fit Kit” on the outside, large enough to hold all the props that go inside the kit. (A graphic that you can print out to make this sign comes with the script.) A boom box, hand-held mirror, iron, plastic police nightstick (can be found at a costume store or a place like Party City), large plastic cross necklace, (also available at the costume store or Party City), manila envelope, CD in case. Bible for Leonard. Box of tissues. Some fake dollar bills.
Setting: A living room. May be as minimal as a card table and a couple of folding chairs.
(A general description of the script; not all details or scenes are here, but it gives you a very good overall picture of what it is like.)
“How To Be Spiritually Fit!”
Written by Frederick Passmore
Leonard comes onstage and sits down to watch some TV, killing some time before he goes to the Men’s Bible Study at his church that evening. He gets a call from his pal Bill, who is enthusiastic about his latest mail order gimmick. Leonard tells him to come on over and show it to him, then goes back to watching TV. A commercial is playing that advertises an item called “The Spiritually Fit Kit,” and the creator, Miss Fitt, promises a healthy spiritual life when the program and exercises are followed. Leonard scoffs at the notion, and as he wonders out loud what kind of idiot would fall for such a thing, his pal Bill springs into the room, proudly displaying the Spiritually Fit Kit!
Preview a PDF page of the script that contains the scene above by clicking here: How_To_Be_Spiritually_Fit_sample_01
As Bill proudly shows off his kit, singing its praises and trying to convince Leonard how helpful it will be, his friend is making fun of him for his gullibility and simple-mindedness. When Leonard sees that Bill is disappointed that he is not willing to participate in the use the program, he suggests that he try it out first so he can see how well it works. Leonard’s plan is to let him find out for himself that there are no shortcuts to spiritual strength and wellness.
Agreeing to the suggestion as a challenge, Bill opens the package and observes the contents of the box, reading the enclosed usage directions. Taking out a CD, he borrows his friend’s boombox and puts it in. The voice of Miss Fitt comes on, welcoming him to the program and a new life of vibrant and active faith. As the program gets underway, Miss Fitt instructs him to take the first item from the box, which is a large plastic cross on a string. She tells him that he must wear this around his neck to let proudly everyone know he is a Christian. Then she leads him in the Miss Fitt “victory dance” which she does on TV, and he looks ridiculous as he does the short jig as she sings “This Little Light Of Mine.”
Preview a PDF page of the script that contains the scene above by clicking here:How_To_Be_Spiritually_Fit_sample_02
Next, Miss Fitt informs him that the Holy Spirit wouldn’t want to live in a run-down shack anymore then we would, so he needs to get in shape by pumping iron. She instructs him to take out item #2, which is an actual clothes iron! Putting him through a series of actions as he hefts the iron, she speeds up her directions as he gets worn out. As the CD guide continues, Louie is put through a series of increasingly humiliating exercises, each one with the goal of correcting some spiritual fault, or increasing one’s spiritual strength… all using physical activity to try and accomplish.
As Leonard sits back and watched the amusing display, Bill is getting more tired and discouraged. The last activity involves self-punishment, and he uses the included police billy club to beat himself over the head with repeatedly. Concerned now, Leonard is worried about his well-being, but the last command from Miss Fitt is for him to repeat all the actions, in a quick recap, as she yells out the orders and he hustles about the stage, working out, humiliating himself, hitting himself with the nightstick, and so on. When it’s all over, she tells him that if he does this every day, he will be spiritually fit! This last bit of info drives him over the edge, and he grabs the nightstick, smashing the items on the table, the boombox, and even taking a swing at Leonard as he tries to intervene.
As the skit wraps up, Leonard helps him to understand the proper path to spiritual health and strength. Gathering the items together to get a refund, Bill informs him of what he plans to spend the money on… another kit called “Preaching The Gospel For Fun and Profit.” Ordering him like a marine sergeant, Leonard marches him out of the room and to the Men’s Bible Study in double-time!
Preview a PDF page of the script that contains the scene above by clicking here: How_To_Be_Spiritually_Fit_sample_03
Preview the soundtrack and listen to some of the effects and music provided for the skit by clicking on the player below. (COMING SOON!)
Read some of the testimonials about the script from just a few of the many users:
About a year ago I was desperately in need of a skit for my high school youth group to perform in our church, the Plainfield Methodist Church in Plainfield, Wisconsin, a couple of weeks. The skit I had ordered from another site (that had sounded terrific on paper) was dull and boring. It seemed that I had exhausted all the skits out there. I had been doing skits for a couple of years with my group successfully, but now I was running out of material.
Anyway, one day I sat down at the computer and did a word search, (seemingly the same word search I had done a million other times) but this time I prayed for God to help me find something that would fit my group and congregation’s needs. Well, in a matter of seconds your site pops up (like magic!).
Ever since I have been in heaven! We have now performed “The Creature in the Closet,” “The Wrap Group,” “How To Be Spiritually Fit” and today “The Crate Escape.” They have all been a blast to perform. They don’t need a lot of practice (which we all like) and there are few props needed. Most of all we love the humor and the soundtracks.
Teenagers get the message in a way they can relate to. Way to go Mr. Passmore, you are really doing God’s work! Thank you for providing this gift to us all.
-Cathy from Plainfield
The Grace Bible Church in Sinking Spring, Ohio performed “How To Be Spiritually Fit” on 2-9.
We had great results with this skit. People were laughing hysterically. My husband and I had a lot of fun performing the skit, too. Today at church the pastor asked who remembered what the skit’s message was, and what the guest speaker’s message was; people remembered the message of the skit, more than the message from the guest speaker!
Thanks for your work and sense of humor.
The Old Bethel Baptist Church will be performing “How To Be Spiritually Fit” on September 21.
I looked all over the internet for a skit to perform at our annual fall fellowship but couldn’t find anything until I found your website! Thank you so much for all the great ideas! You have a great talent and it’s good to see you sharing it with others and using it to honor the Lord! I know personally that skits and drama are a great way to witness.
May he continue to bless you!
My friends and I love your skits. This is the second year we are using one of them. Last year we used one in a competition called Talents For Christ, and we went all the way to the national competition and we won 2nd place. We decide to use another skit of yours this year, (“How to be Spiritually Fit”) and hopefully we will win 1st place! (Note: They did! -Fred) We just wanted to say thank you for putting your material on the internet, and for free. It is such a blessing. You have a great talent and God will bless you for using it for His glory.
Evangel Baptist Church in Taylor, MI
Okay, if you liked the story breakdown, and enjoyed the Skit Trax previews, and were encouraged by the testimonials of those that have done it, buy the complete script and soundtrack here!
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WHAT WE OFFER:
Our plays range from 20 minutes all the way up to 80 minutes. They are written to engage the viewer, make them think, to impact the emotions, and present the Gospel in such a way that they perceive it as meeting the needs of their life. The aim is to bless the believer, and give the person that has never made a decision for Christ a desire to invite Him into their life.
Our skits range in length from 5 minutes up to 20 minutes. While most are comedic in nature, using humor to impart a perspective that may not have been considered, the laughs are all tied into the message, and there is always a resolution that leads the viewer into consideration of the Truth contained in it. The humor can be enjoyed by all ages.
The soundtracks that we make to accompany the scripts add drama and emotional impact to the script’s performance. There are two different kinds of script and soundtrack; the kind where you do the lines live and the soundtrack is played at certain times during the performance; and second, the kind that supplies all the narration, music and effects mixed together to play as the actors perform, with no lines to learn. Each script description page tells you which kind it is under the “Soundtrack Key.”