The Trials Of Rev. Milton Blumquist

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The Trials Of Rev. Milton Blumquist”
Written by Frederick Passmore
Copyright 1990-2017 Sheep Laughs Publications

Synopsis: Rev. Milton Blumquist, a down-home country preacher, is attempting to record his weekly radio program at home. As he begins to preach on “patience,” of which he has none, a series of interruptions occur to disturb him. Each comical event, specific to a point he just made in his sermon, is obviously being sent to help him see that he is lacking in the areas on which he is speaking. But he bull-headedly plows on, missing the point each time, until everything dissolves into chaos. At that point he begins to apply the sermon to himself, and makes progress.

Soundtrack key: This is the type of script where your actors deliver their lines and the soundtrack supplies the background music and sound effects as the script calls for them.

Length of play: 10-12 minutes
Number of cast: 1
Category: Comedic, One-Person Skits, Shorter Skits

Price of script pdf & Skit Trax MP3:
 Instant Download ONLY$14.99 – Add to Cart

Price of script pdf & Physical CD: 
$19.99 plus shipping – Add To Cart


Characters: Rev. Milton Blumquist. Played as an older man, down-home and country, who pastors a small country church. NOTE: If you have an actress interested in this script, you can change the character to a lady preacher with a simple name change and some script notations!

Costumes: Blue jeans and long-sleeve plaid shirt, or just slacks and shirt.

Props: Handkerchief, old table phone, flyswatter, big rubber fake fly, a Vick’s nasal inhaler, thick comedy glasses (optional), boom box tape/CD player.

Setting: A living room. All that is necessary is a card table and a folding chair.

Note: This is a one-man skit script that I have been performing for over 15 years in churches with great audience response. It is sound-effects heavy, depending completely on the soundtrack CD for the character to interact with. This is the same soundtrack that I put together for my own use. Familiarity with the script and CD are essential to the successful performance of this comedy script. It is intended for use by an performer with a good sense of comedic acting and timing. It also demands the ability to do physical comedy, as there is a good deal of action.
The script can be kept on the desk and referred to as a “cheat sheet” if needed, because the script calls for him to refer to his written notes as he delivers his radio message.

(A general description of the script; not all details or scenes are here, but it gives you an overall picture of what it is like.)

As the skit opens, Rev. Blumquist comes in, stoked about now being able to record his radio message at home and send it to the station, rather than going there and doing it live as he has for many years. He has a cassette tape recorder on the table, which he uses to tape his message. He is years behind the times, and this is one trait that adds to the humor. (However, if you DO wish to update the skit, you could have him “go live” on Facebook and deliver the message using his new smartphone, which he sets up on the table.)

As he begins, using his notes to stay on track as he speaks, he introduces his topic, which is “patience.” Almost as soon as he begins, the first test of his own patience starts when a train passes on the nearby tracks. The roar of the engine and the shaking of his house derail his attempts to continue, and he opens his door to yell at the train as it passes. When the noise finally abates, he goes back to the desk to resume taping.

Preview a PDF page of the script that contains the scene above by clicking here: rev_milton_blumquist_sample_01

This time his dog starts barking outside his door, and his repeated shouts to quiet it do no good. When he yanks open the door the threaten the dog, it growls at him, and when he kicks at it through the door, it grabs his foot and starts dragging him out the opening! The actor can have great fun with the physical action here as he acts as if he is fighting to pull himself back through the door, which he does, and slams it shut as the dog continues to growl.

There are other interruptions that cause his focus to waver, such as a persistent wrong number, a neighbor’s car alarm (which he reacts to by calling him up and telling him off), and a buzzing and very hard-to-kill fly. Each one plays on a sermon point that he made just before it occurs, making it obvious to the audience that they are being sent on purpose. Finally, he demands of the listening audience, “have you learned patience yet, or is the Lord gonna have to keep trying to teach it to you?” At which everything that disturbed him before starts to happen all over again, all at once, driving him into a frenzy.

Preview a PDF page of the script that contains the scene above by clicking here: rev_milton_blumquist_sample_02

When the chaos and cacophony finally die down, the good Reverend throws in the towel of defeat, admitting to himself “I just don’t have the patience!” And that point a bell rings (literally) and he begins to see the light. As some soft and moving music plays, he opens his neglected Bible and reads the verse, James 1:2-4, he was supposed to preach on before giving his own declarations. The Word gives him insight into his dilemma, caused by trying to preach about a subject, namely “patience,” to others without possessing the fruit of it in his own life. He resolves to make amends to those he has hurt by his impatience, starting with his next-door neighbor.

Preview some of the soundtrack effects and music provided for the skit by clicking on the player below.

Read some of the testimonials about the script from just a few of the many users:

Brother Fred,
I did “The Trials of Rev. Milton Blumquist” on July 28 during a 5th Sunday praise gathering.
Everyone LOVED this skit! They are STILL talking about it, and it’s been three days. I have been led to organize a drama team at our church. What a great skit to use not only to give the message of having patience, but to also get our youth excited about doing drama altogether. You are truly blessed my friend, I can’t wait to introduce more of your skits into our church.
-Rickey Corley

Okay, if you liked the story breakdown, and enjoyed the Skit Trax preview, and were encouraged by the testimonials of those that have done it, buy the complete script and soundtrack here! 

Get the script PDF (to print out) and audio tracks (to burn to your own CD) here.
Price of script pdf & Skit Trax MP3: Instant Download ONLY$14.99 – Add to Cart

Get the physical CD mailed to you by ordering here. You will be taken to a page where you can print out the script PDF as well as an email containing the script PDF.
Price of script pdf & Physical CD: $19.99 plus shipping – Add To Cart

Order through the mail with a check or money order by printing out this order form and mailing it to us. Click to open or download: order_form_new

Questions before ordering? Call me at 912-347-9579!


Dramatic Plays:
Our plays range from 20 minutes all the way up to 80 minutes. They are written to engage the viewer, make them think, to impact the emotions, and present the Gospel in such a way that they perceive it as meeting the needs of their life. The aim is to bless the believer, and give the person that has never made a decision for Christ a desire to invite Him into their life.

Comedic Skits:
Our skits range in length from 5 minutes up to 20 minutes. While most are comedic in nature, using humor to impart a perspective that may not have been considered, the laughs are all tied into the message, and there is always a resolution that leads the viewer into consideration of the Truth contained in it. The humor can be enjoyed by all ages.

The soundtracks that we make to accompany the scripts add drama and emotional impact to the script’s performance. There are two different kinds of script and soundtrack; 
the kind where you do the lines live and the soundtrack is played at certain times during the performance; and second, the kind that supplies all the narration, music and effects mixed together to play as the actors perform, with no lines to learn. Each script description page tells you which kind it is under the “Soundtrack Key.”